http://www.drmadelinedaniels.com Tue, 11 Nov 2008 01:36:44 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en Just a quick note to let you all know that, while I’ve been trying to keep up on current submissions to this website, I admit I’ve been preoccupied. Preparing the manuscript that describes the events of the last four years is finally done! I think it will explain much of ... http://www.drmadelinedaniels.com/2008/11/06/the-latest-happenings/ In my career, I’ve written so much about self-fulfilling Prophecies, SFP’s. That’s the idea that what you believe will happen, you will create by the subtle non-verbal messages you send out to create your future. Visitors to this Website have always been fascinated by the positive aspects of this concept, ... http://www.drmadelinedaniels.com/2008/11/01/a-bad-new-twist-to-self-fulfilling-prophecies/ Generosity is a funny thing. You give and receive gifts of great value when you least expect it. When I think about the gifts of last year, I don't necessarily remember the wrapped presents tied with ribbons and under the tree. I tend to remember the gifts of love we ... http://www.drmadelinedaniels.com/2007/11/22/giving-and-thanksgiving/ I once asked a pessimist friend of mine why he persisted in expecting the worst of every situation. He responded with a variation of an old proverb: "They told me to cheer up; things could get worse! So I cheered up. And they were right, things got worse!" I have to ... http://www.drmadelinedaniels.com/2007/07/28/sometimes-there-is-no-silver-lining/ Most people accept that there is room for improvement in their lives and their behavior. Nobody's life is perfect, and every unpleasant feeling or uncomfortable situation is a motivation for change. Why then do we often find it difficult to change? Everybody who has tried to break a habit like smoking ... http://www.drmadelinedaniels.com/2007/07/24/every-action-produces-a-reaction/ Writing regularly gives me a chance to explore many different thoughts and feelings. Sometimes I'm very serious, but other times I can't help laughing as I write. Erma Bombeck I'm not, but I enjoy sharing my light-hearted moods with you, the reader. Without humor, life would be unbearably flat, and our ... http://www.drmadelinedaniels.com/2007/07/14/humor-is-a-funny-thing/ One of the ironies of life is that when we most need help, it's often hard to know where to go to get it! As a psychologist, I am often faced with clients who are afraid to tell anyone that they are getting professional help. It's a variation of the ... http://www.drmadelinedaniels.com/2007/07/02/need-help/ Summertime is the season for family vacations, family cookouts, family reunions, and visiting relatives. Whew! That's a lot of family. It can seem like visiting a well-planned flower garden, or a fearsome jungle filled with quicksand. I know people who look forward to the chance to renew family ties, and people ... http://www.drmadelinedaniels.com/2007/06/28/the-family-garden/ You know what they say: 'Everybody always talks about the weather, but nobody ever does anything about it.' Baloney! We do lots of things about it! Watching Californians in the summertime is a study in a glorious variety of summer strategies to cope with the weather. When exposed to the particular ... http://www.drmadelinedaniels.com/2007/06/14/fitting-into-nature%e2%80%99s-scheme-of-things/ Have You Been Less Than Perfect Today? A lot of readers found a chord touched by the book excerpt on Self-Fulfilling Prophecies (SFP). But I wrote that book from the perspective of a manager working with other people. Being a business manual, it was focused on the Other rather than the ... http://www.drmadelinedaniels.com/2007/06/05/have-you-been-less-than-perfect-today/ Unless you're exceptionally lucky, you know what it's like when the proverbial bottom falls out of things. It's such an epidemic that we have lots of words to describe it: the pits, the dumps, so far down it feels like up, on our knees, flat on our back. Okay, okay, ... http://www.drmadelinedaniels.com/2007/06/01/climbing-out-of-that-barrel/ Books on approaching sports, motorcycle repair, and job hunting with a Zen attitude were very popular for a while. I think it's time I provided some guidelines for approaching money the same way! You see, Zen is really an attitude towards life. It encourages people to be natural and spontaneous, yet ... http://www.drmadelinedaniels.com/2007/03/07/zen-and-the-art-of-money-management/ Driving down a country road the other day, I stopped behind a school bus and watched a young teenager get out. Even before the bus had pulled away, he had his thumb out in the universal sign for hitchhikers. With nationwide concern over the rising amount of crimes against children, ... http://www.drmadelinedaniels.com/2007/03/04/predators/ In my otherwise bright day, there is one flaw. I look out my office window to a battlefield and the weeds are winning again! I got the garden ready for planting early enough. I just didn't get around to putting the seeds in. One too many emergencies; one too many ... http://www.drmadelinedaniels.com/2007/03/02/weeding-out-guilt/ A headache can be a nightmare for the sufferer. Those prone to headaches may find them occurring frequently, disrupting their life and making both work and play difficult if not impossible. Medication may be of little use in some cases. Just lying down and doing nothing is often the only ... http://www.drmadelinedaniels.com/2007/02/28/headaches/ Do you realize what happens when you leave the 'R' out of friend? You get a fiend! That's exactly what a friend can be if you leave Respect, Reality, and Reasonableness out of a relationship! Some people complain that they have no friends, that no one knows how to be a ... http://www.drmadelinedaniels.com/2007/02/26/a-friend-in-need-or-a-fiend-indeed/ I hear a lot from people who feel overwhelmed by the chaos they have to deal with each day. And I do understand. All of us can relate to feeling like there are too many things on our plate. People tend to daydream about a better life. But with a busy ... http://www.drmadelinedaniels.com/2007/02/25/dealing-with-daily-chaos/ I can't think of a more useless pursuit than looking for someone to blame. The minute we say 'It's all your fault!' to someone, we alienate them. And to what purpose? Laying the blame at someone's door doesn't change what has already happened, nor does it look for ways to ... http://www.drmadelinedaniels.com/2007/02/23/playing-the-blame-game/ Do you have a problem dealing with authority? Do you dread talking to your doctor? Do you jump when someone speaks in a loud voice? Do you break into a cold sweat when a police officer pulls you over? If the IRS called you on the phone, would you faint on ... http://www.drmadelinedaniels.com/2007/02/22/saying-no-to-authority-figures/ Back in the 1950s a number of researchers began to realize that when people act on a belief, they create a reality to match that belief. This idea was developed further by Dr. Robert K. Merton, a professor of sociology at Columbia University, who pointed out that even when the ... http://www.drmadelinedaniels.com/2007/02/07/the-self-fulfilling-prophecy/ We've just been through several months of singing about good will towards other people. We're supposed to be filled with love towards our fellow human. Maybe it's easy to smile at strangers, but I'm not sure it's any easier for those who have to work with people they dislike. It would ... http://www.drmadelinedaniels.com/2007/02/01/working-with-people-you-don%e2%80%99t-like/ There seems to be a fine line between acknowledging that old age has some inherent characteristics, and assuming that being old is a problem in itself. Lumping all older people together into a category is unfair. Assuming they all have the same problems is also unfair. It's a form of ... http://www.drmadelinedaniels.com/2007/01/31/sometimes-there-is-no-easy-button/ Part of the problem is having diverse interests and a brain that struggles to synthesize them into a whole. My thoughts are often chaotic, as are my written notes, and I obsess about finding a continuity. Well, after all, there's a connection being made somewhere in my mind or I ... http://www.drmadelinedaniels.com/2007/01/28/potpourri/ Everybody likes the feeling of having finished a job well. But between starting a job and finishing it, there's a long, hard road of just plugging away. So despite our desire to finish a task, we can find ourselves putting it off until the last minute. Then we have to ... http://www.drmadelinedaniels.com/2007/01/22/break-the-procrastination-pattern/ This article is the second in a series. The first article is: Together We Learn (Part I). I was recently asked about the 'new' degree programs that are proliferating on line and elsewhere recently. As somebody who has been facilitating learning at the college level since 1973, as well as participating ... http://www.drmadelinedaniels.com/2007/01/21/together-we-learn/ I suppose the reason we keep making New Year's resolutions is that hope springs eternal in the human heart. It's almost as traditional to break New Year's resolutions as it is to make them! In the interests of breaking with this tradition of non-compliance, here's some unusual ways of tricking ... http://www.drmadelinedaniels.com/2007/01/14/resolve/ Oh no! Temporary lapse in communication! I sincerely apologize! No, of course I didn't just forget! It's just that blogging is a whole new genre, and one which leaves few protective screens between the writer and the reader. I'm still adapting to a new century and new technology. When I had ... http://www.drmadelinedaniels.com/2007/01/14/whoops-temporary-lapse-in-communication/ Some of the most difficult comments to answer are the ones I get from clients and readers explaining why nothing I suggest works for them. I keep thinking of the game described by Dr. Eric Berne, creator of Transactional Analysis, and author of the book 'Games People Play.' He calls ... http://www.drmadelinedaniels.com/2006/12/05/the-great-%e2%80%9cyes-but%e2%80%a6%e2%80%9d-game/ Person Centered Graduate Education, Roy P. Fairfield, Ph.D., 1977, Prometheus Books, Buffalo, NY. Written by a dear friend, colleague, and mentor of over 25 years, this remains a classic! Definitely worth tracking down and reading! Another classic: Freedom To Learn by the great psychologist Carl Rogers, 1969, ... http://www.drmadelinedaniels.com/2006/11/15/book-recommendations/ Together We Learn, Each in His/Her Own Way Imagine designing a university that really helps the student learn. What do we need to consider in order to build such a vision? Three areas of focus immediately come to mind: the role of the faculty and their image, how we learn ... http://www.drmadelinedaniels.com/2006/11/05/together-we-learn-part-i/