Dr. Madeline Daniels

Obama’s Fight With Tyler Durden!

In case you’ve missed it, there’s a whole cult of interest forming around “Fight Club” and its manifesto of destruction. The theory seems to be that any action is better than no action at all. Well, I disagree strongly! Good action is best, even if it doesn’t always provide instant gratification. 

I feel sorry for President Obama. He’s in the same boat. He seems to understand that some fundamental systems in this country don’t work well. But he also seems to realize that “deliberate and prudent” are not bad words. Decisive action implies making a decision, which in itself implies thought and choice. 

I’ve also worked for change and improvement my whole life, sometimes with exhausting results and sometimes with very few results. (See my last book if you don’t realize how difficult it can be!) So the young people I know ask the legitimate question:  Do you really believe you can reform from within?  

They ask if it’s evil, isn’t it better to destroy it? Well, if it’s evil because it destroys the minds, bodies, and souls of people, how are you any better for acting in a destructive way? You become the very evil that you fight! Decisive action implies making a decision, which in itself should imply some thought! 

I’ve spent much of my life feeling like I had no patience. I was always the one being called a troublemaker for pointing out when something is being done badly. (i.e. hurtful to humans!) I’ve suggested and implemented ways of improving poorly run systems, either individual or agency-wide. And I still feel like the wait to see change is endless.   Even lately I tend to complain “So many good leads to follow, so little instant gratification!” 

The protagonist of “Fight Club” never gets it all together. He never comprehends that there needs to be a coherent whole to give value and meaning to a life. All the pieces of a human are important: body, mind, heart, soul, -however you want to define them, a human life is more than the sum of its parts. But “Jack” continues to keep the pieces apart.  

He acts like he can find unrelated (and un-authentic!) outlets for the various parts of himself. Then he wonders why he feels dissatisfied. He lacks purpose and meaning, passion and energy. And even when he finds some energy, he isolates it in the person of Tyler Durden. What a waste! He watches mindless cretins fall into Project Mayhem, where once again they’ve chosen the path of notthinking. 

It takes real courage and hard work to make good conscious choices and make them manifest in reality. It takes hope and faith and a real concern for other human beings. Haven’t we learned anything? We’d better develop a new stage of human consciousness because some realities are hitting us upside the head at this point. 

One reality we all refuse to face is that there are an enormous amount of people in the world today. Dealing with each of them one-on-one seems like just too much work, so we opt for the easy way out. Like the time of the invention of the assembly line, we’ve created too many stupid mindless jobs filled with people who don’t know why they’re there. (I’m not talking here about job description, I’m talking about Purpose!) 

I see it all the time in my patients. People act badly when they feel powerless. They tend to either give up entirely or act out violently. That’s when they hide their pain behind labels, dichotomous thinking (you know, either-or – no alternatives), or behind the masks of hatred and violence.  

Well, poor choices are not better than no action. Sometimes they’re far worse than a moment of sitting still and being reflective. Yelling, cursing, and calling people names are stupid actions. And they don’t accomplish real positive change. Destroying people and objects is just more of the same violence. And it makes the actor as evil as the thing he or she is trying to destroy. 

There are labels of which I’m darn tired, because they’re just a substitute for actually thinking and working. I’m so sick of labels substituting for understanding.  Socialism and capitalism are simply the labels of two extremes on a continuum of economic systems. Both are being given bad names because of stupid uncaring power-mongers who used both systems badly. If you’re too lazy to discuss a middle ground, sit down and shut up. 

I remember television before it was overloaded with commercials. I dream of public television for all, and programming that was based on fun and learning, not who wants to sell the most. I sometimes see why people think it would be nice if everything worked free. That’s why people for centuries have dreamed of Heaven as a place of abundance, there for the taking.  

So here we go from one extreme of pure consumerism to one example of pure taking-care-of-everybody equally. Oh for heaven’s sake, if we dropped the labels and actually discussed the risks and benefits, we might come up with a sane and healthy compromise. But again, that takes thought and work. And where you put the emphasis affects what you get back. 

All too often religion ends up falling into this same category. It comes from the root word meaning connection or linking. But now it often seems an excuse to grab a label and claim you’re “saved.” Saved from what? All too often it appears to be saved from having to think! Getting lost in cursing people who won’t use your name for God or your type of prayer just means you aren’t thinking about really being connected to other human beings or the planet we live on. 

Followers of Tyler seem to fall prey to another misconception. In the blogs I’ve read people seem to confuse creativity with procrastination. We’re talking apples and oranges here, folks! I’ve been writing, teaching, and counseling for over forty years on how to get results, especially at your job and in your personal life. I wrote a book about spirituality over twenty years ago, arguing that it was needed to be included to build a life of health and happiness. I wasn’t talking about labels. I certainly have never claimed it was easy. 

The things I’ve spent my life encouraging are just as essential as they ever were. The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy concept relates to how you maximize putting things into action. Creativity comes into play finding new ways to do this. It means finding new paths in better direction. But without following those paths, acting with thinking, feeling, and doing, you won’t find change. Acting means making the best of your thoughts manifest themselves in deeds and achievements. It means thinking about meaning, communications, and consequences. It doesn’t mean doing nothing. But it doesn’t mean acting violently and mindlessly. 

Take that, Tyler Durden. Wake up “Jack” and get it together. May you who read or see “Fight Club” for what it is: a desperate desire for a better life but also an illustration of how not to get it!