It’s certainly become more difficult to keep treading water when it’s rising everywhere. Financial worries, too few jobs, constant fear – these days it’s a flood of epic proportions! But while I’ve talked about stress before, this time I think we need to deal with discouragement and despair. It’s seems that just plain “giving up†in frustration is one of the biggest problems facing us.
You see, any flood is worse if it’s sludge that rising around you. Not simple survival problems, but a toxic brew of greed and power-hunger that leads to corruption and ethical violations by the very officials in whom we trust to preserve our security. Mix that with apathy and feelings of helplessness, and you’ve got an overwhelming mess indeed.
Lately when I work with depressed clients, they often ask, “In a world where evil and injustice surrounds us, how can we regain hope? How can we restore our faith in the good of humanity?†The recent election campaign seemed to make everyone rise to a new level of unthinking assumptions and raging anger. New stories of political corruption and senseless violence assault us daily. What’s going on?
The fact remains that your happiness is intertwined with your outlook on life. If you feel helpless and hopeless, you will see everything through the filter of despair. The worst part is that it becomes a Catch-22 situation. If you don’t speak up for change, than nothing changes, thereby re-affirming your already grim outlook. We’re talking about keeping on striving instead of just giving up.
I’ve heard anger described as “a desire for vengeance.†But I’ve always seen anger as a response to a threat, that energizing emotion that pushes for change. The example I give my clients is to imagine someone is standing on your toe. Your polite request that they move doesn’t get any response. Finally you lose your patience and shout “Get off my toe†while pushing them hard. Results achieved!
But if you go beyond that level of energy and inflict damage on the other person, I think you’ve lost your battle. You’ve wasted more energy than it took to make the change, and you’ve lost your high moral ground because you’ve escalated the violence. (Okay, okay, I admit to being heavily influenced by Gandhi and Martin Luther King. But they still make sense to me. Anger isn’t something you want to have; it’s just an emotion of last resort. Better to not waste more energy on it than it takes to be productive.
The question is really how long can you keep at a fight that is does not have one clear victory. Life is more like a series of small choices that will steer you in the right direction. Sometimes those tiny decisions and actions can make you feel like you’re banging your head against the wall. What keeps you going? How can you not be hurt by it? Hope is the antidote to fear!
Having just been absorbed in writing about my own true story of life-changing disaster and the recovery that followed, I began to realize that the whole process was more like white-water canoeing. The point is to arrive in one piece at your destination. Yes, there are bumps and bruises along the way but each small push in the right direction will help you achieve that final goal. The funny part was that I realized how exciting canoeing is and how I used to enjoy the ride itself. The process of getting there was part of the joy of arriving.
So maybe hope is what keeps us buoyant! Fear makes us flinch and cringe; it stops us from doing what we know is right. Hope that we can affect a change is what helps us keep moving. One small action can increase momentum; it can increase the chance of a good outcome. No action is just apathy, and that leads to inertia – no change at all.
I know the world isn’t perfect. Sometimes people behave in ways that are downright wrong. So I’m hoping that one small voice, one tiny choice, one daily action, will help create the changes that will make the world a better place for all of us. Wish me luck! And please, join me in my efforts.