Stress is in the air lately! It’s become an all-purpose villain to blame for every problem. Why shouldn’t we feel stressed? We are all overwrought by the effects of an up and down economy and a rising complexity in everyday life. But, aside from Eden, life has never been easy. Why then is stress getting such bad publicity?
Nearly half the calls I get each week come from people complaining of ’stress’ and the symptoms they cite cover everything from headaches to family problems. It’s becoming a much overused word, and I think it’s time to define ’stress’ a bit more specifically.
Stress occurs when people interact with the environment. It occurs when we have to adapt to something outside ourselves. Just being alive assumes a certain amount of stress. The only static person is a dead one. So stress itself is neither good nor bad; it just is. The stress caused by physical exercise helps tone the muscles and improve the body. The stress of mental activity provides challenge and stimulation to help us grow.
Stress becomes a problem under two conditions: (1) when the individual is faced with more changes than can be adapted to comfortably; and (2) when the individual has a maladaptive response to stress. In other words, the problems are not caused by stress itself, but how you deal with it.
Let’s look at why some people handle stress in a self-destructive way. Long ago, the human body developed a useful response to physical stress. When faced with something frightening, the body revs up: adrenaline pours into the system, capillaries in the arms and legs close up, and the whole system goes into overdrive. This is called the ‘fight or flight’ response.
Now this is a very useful response to have if a saber-toothed tiger jumps at you. You can run faster, fight harder, even bleed less if wounded. Unfortunately, life for homo sapiens has changed faster than physical evolution can keep up with. Today’s fright is more likely to come from your boss than a tiger. But your body reacts with the same response. And there you are — all revved up and nowhere to go.
You try to adapt. Hitting your boss with a chair might use up some of that extra energy, but it would probably make life more stressful in the long run. So you grit your teeth and try to act calm. Meanwhile your stomach churns because of the change in your body chemistry. If too many of these disruptions in normal functioning occur each day, you can develop permanent physical problems. Headaches, high blood pressure, bruxism (gritting your teeth even while you sleep), coronaries and ulcers are just some of the possibilities.
If you feel upset and uncomfortable, you may become irritable with friends and family, which can result in more stress as they react to your behavior. So by not handling stress, you create a situation that can have powerful physical and emotional effects.
Obviously, the solution isn’t to avoid stress entirely. You can’t stop working and hide in a closet. But there are two things you can do. First, you can learn how to physically relax, and stop the ‘fight or flight’ response. Biofeedback, hypnosis, and meditation are just some of the methods used to train people to relax physically.
Second, you can learn to change your perception of the situation. If you don’t feel frightened by the boss, you’re less likely to become tense. Restructuring your attitude is difficult, but it pays off in the long run. You can learn to put your problems in perspective, and not let life events make you feel so stressed. A good psychologist or mental health professional can help tremendously with this task.
The key to dealing with stress is how you cope with it. Pessimism, poor planning, and other self-defeating behaviors are what really cause problems, not the stress itself. (Severe traumatic events are another story. But we’ll cover that another time.) Learning how to have a more positive attitude and how to take better care of your body will go a long way towards reducing the ’stress’ epidemic in your household!